Yesterday I got up and went over and used my sister's computer...had to get some relief society stuff done. In the afternoon I went over and helped in the art room for the Disney kids show. They made tress jungle leaves and butterflies.
 I then went home and watched the Indians Cubs game in the world series. Sad to say my cubs lost. The Indians have a good team this year..we will see how they do tonight.
 Today I had an appointment with Kim then later I went and volunteered at the library..I'm now straightening the adult dvds. On Wednesday's for now.
   In my scripture study yesterday I learned about peer influence. I didn't evenin know that was a subject in the typical guide. Today I studied about Thomas B. Marsh. Don't know much about him except he was faithful and was called to leave his family and serve a mission for a time.

So yesterday I went to church. The missionaries talked in our ward and did such an awesome job. Elder Hammer talked about the atonement but also about a talk given by president Hinckley it sounds like I need to read called symbols of our faith. Elder Elliot bore powerful testimony and talked about being a directed dedicated disciple.
 In Sunday school we talked about Christ appearing to the Nephites blessing the children and instituting the sacrament. In relief society we talked about the book of Mormon.
 After church we went to a birthday party for my nephew Wyatt who turned three. I was glad to be there for him.
 Today in my scripture reading I read about how we shouldn't be afraid of men when talking about our religion.
 In anxiety group We talked about phobias and I have a lot of them. We made a plan to work on at least one of them this week.
 Then in woman's group We talked a lot about communication skills being the speaker and the listener how to ask questions that are not open ended and how to use reflective listening.
We had to speak about a topic for one minute in a small group the topic I got wS toilet paper go figure. No it wasn't that bad.
 Now I'm home its been raining and thundering all morning. I am trying to decide what I should do. My broncos play today so of course I want to watch the game. Do I want to read rest watch tv or a movie or do something else? My dishes are done. I'm wearing my nightmare before Christmas shirt and it's a good day. Except I wish I had more or someone to talk to sometimes.
Goooo Broncos.

So I haven't written for a few days I've kind of been down.  "Down" as in hurting and depressed.
       I've just been sad and not myself. Reading scriptures and praying helps but I'm tired of feeling like I'm alone in the fight. I'm glad Naomi could be there with me or for me she's a really good friend and I'm lucky to have her.
 In my scripture reading I've been learning about how precious as a creation we are to God. I've also read about prayer today in the book of Mormon and how important it is. I also was reading about one of God and Jesus names called Jehovah. At first he told Moses I am that I am but it says they didn't know him as Jehovah. Anyways no matter what his name he is the same from everlasting to everlasting.
Those are pretty much my scripture notes-concepts lately.

I hope I can have a better day today. Mom and I are going to the store sometime today.

It's been an emotionally hard day for me. I've was home all morning.
I went and did some paperwork with my landlord then I went over to help with the Disney show. They are doing the jungle book. The kids are learning dances and today I helped the art kids with the scenery. It was fun. I went and checked on my mom whose been sick all day and now I'm home again.

So I was in brianhead this morning but we spent most of the day in Bryce Canyon then heading home.
   Nature is beautiful even when your trying to keep up with a two year old. No I loved spending every minute with two of my nephews. Ian and Wyatt.
 Its been a long day now I'm in my apartment ready for a rest.

So I didn't write yesterday. It's been one busy fun crazy week with my nephews. But it's been fun.
 Today I woke up and went with my walking group and we planned our trip to my Charleston.
 Then I went home and changed then went to Jamie's and spent time with my nephews. I ran down to the elementary school for a few minutes and afterwards jamie came home and we went up to Brian head. I am now sleeping in the hotel.
In my scripture study I studied about apostles and what it means for them to sustain the prophet.

So last night I set my alarm for the wrong time. So I woke up in a rush cause I had to go to a therapy session in Las Vegas. He thinks I'm doing good he tells me basically to live my life and try to take things slowly. Live in the moment savor the moment. He thinks I'm on track. I was feeling anxious in the car ( riding) so I practiced my deep breathing skills then. My relaxation exercises.
 I got home about 3:30 so I read and relaxed then I went to st George to pick up 2 of my nephews with mom and Jamie.
 Its been a busy day ...a busy week. And I have to remember and find time to do a few other errands.
 My scripture study today was short and sweet it was from the book of Mormon on bearething record. Like sometimes how the holy ghost tells us things that are true and sometimes we are witnesses to the truth.
That's about it.

I had two things to do today. I went and watched the Disney kids learn a dance at Joseph bowler elementary school. They are doing the jungle book and the kids did such a great job today learning the dance and paying attention.
 The other thing was I had a stake relief society training meeting and can I just say that the spirit was very strong. They talked about the importance of our temple garments and can I just say I wanted to share the importance of sharing some positive FAITH promoting experiences help us learn about the temple garments. It really was a good meeting. The spirit was So strong. Sometimes I wonder or I think about garments and other temple clothes when the scriptures and pioneers talk about grinding up there loins. Its that extra strength of faith that I feel like after attending a temple session.

Well I didn't post yesterday. I went to church where we sat in a quiet testimony meeting..I didn't have much to say and my mom pretty much said what I would say.
In Sunday school my special class for teachers we talked about spontaneous teaching moments. I think sometimes questions and comments from the class can be inspired but we also have to listen to the spirit.
 In relief society we talked about being honest. Because of fear I have not been honest lately and plan to do better in the future. I think honesty is taught best when you are young in a loving caring environment where people are good at communication which is not what I grew up with. I have been honest with myself however in my therapy and it has made a difference I think.
 I helped watch two of my nephews and Then went to the singles activity. Which turned out Ok. I liked my moms cupcakes.
 Today in anxiety group we practiced deep breathing relaxation and visual imagery strategies. And about taking care of ourselves.
 In women's group we talked about and set some goals for ourselves.
 Now I'm home resting before I go on a relief society errand. And I might do some reading.
 In scripture study I learned about listening to the voice of the lord and revelation we just had a chance to listen to our prophet and he told us that we need to improve. So I am working on improving myself.There were also many other inspired talks in conference that we can listen to also.

 Well this morning I went and helped clean the church. It wasn't easy trying to clean around a baptism. Afterwards I went and spent the morning with 2 of my nephews and came home and showered then went. and watched. 2 of my nephews and played with them all day long. So much fun. And thanks to Jamie for the food today. Got to see dad and Beth and Tom.
  I also didn't get a chance to read my scriptures today so I'll have to get reading again.
 That's about it. Another busy day tommorrow.

Well I went and did my blood work today. My stress class was canceled so I went with mom to pick up my nephews got to hold our baby for a little while. Hung out with my nephews. Met dad's friend but It didn't connect that that was her until I was leaving to have dinner with my nephews sorry dad and Anna.
    Now I am home. Didn't get my scriptures read today. Oops. My water is back on though.
   I've also been reading. Tommorrow I get to go clean the church and I have to go to the store besides hang out with my nephews.

one busy day.

I volunteered at the mesquite library today we had 11 bins and it took me a little longer again today.
 I came home had lunch and rested until 3:00 when I went over to Joseph bowler elementary school to help with the Disney kids show.
 Then at 5:00 I went to family history center where I learned about some of my ancestors.
   Now I'm home and my apartments main water pipes broke so I have no water except they filled my tub so I could empty the toilet and provided some bottled water.
 My scripture study was short and sweet today and from the book of Mormon it was basically about repentance. I still have some things I've been working on yes and I feel bad for all the wrong things I did and all the trouble I've caused. If anyone out there reads this who I have offended I'm sorry.
 Tommorrow got to get my blood work done and have stress class from 2:30 to about 3:45. Then we are going up to pick up my nephews for the weekend.

Well I haven't done much today. Got up at seven and wasn't feeling well so I slept in till 10:00. Read my scriptures then read. Went to find my landlord but realized she wouldn't be there until 2:00 pm so I read some more. Went and found her at 2:00 and filled out some paperwork. Came back and went to the store around 4:50. Its been kind of a boring day. Except I got to read a lot and only have four chapters left in my books.
 In my scripture reading today it said we should take "time" to read or search the scriptures. I think as I read I felt that it's important to dedicate our "time" to the lord.
 Well tommorrow I volunteer at the library and I have Disney kids show to help with maybe on tomorrow.
 I kinda hurt a little inside tonight I think it has to do with my feelings but I'm not sure what's wrong. Its only a little and not as bad as it's been.

I met with my service coordinator this morning. It went ok was kind of rough for me. Then I came home and slept. Mom said we needed to go help Jamie at school not realizing Jamie was busy so my mom brought me home. I did dishes ate dinner and read until it wad time for relief society.
 I went to relief society and it was really good all about our happily ever after based on president uchtdorfs talk to the young women.
 In scripture reading I read about the savior receiving his sons and daughters and I learned that he receives us when we are baptized and that he receives us when we listen to and follow the holy ghost. He receives his sons and daughters of god.
 That's about all for tonight. Mom and baby should be home tommorrow sometime. They are doing good.
 I am going to go get blood drawn tomorrow morning as a routine checkup and maybe try to find my landlord so I can get paperwork done. Also need to make some phone calls. Hopefully all will go well.

I went to my anxiety group today. We talked about the areas of life where our anxiety comes from and we are suppose to come up with a treatment plan for our own anxiety. I realized a few things. A lot of my anxiety still stems from not expressing my feelings. But I had a thought a lot of it is about accepting myself and my feelings which can be hard to do sometimes but it's the area that I need to work on the most. I should be proud of myself for recognizing that and looking at how far I've come. I think if I can accept myself and my feelings my anxiety will lesson.
 In women's group we made collages of where We want to be in a few years mine turned out ok But wasn't my best work ever.
 After groups I came home and took a nap I was so tired. I've also been reading c and I just made dinner and finished listening to elder Nelson conference talk about Joy. It is so good.
In my scripture study I learned about scribes today. I learned there were good people who were scribes but also bad people who were scribes but most importantly I learned that it's important to write down your impressions and your feelings and promptings. I want to tell you of an experience I had when Brittan died. I just always worry that they-my family members- will be okay. I was feeling all worried when I read a scripture that said perfect love casters out all fear. Instead of being worried or afraid I just needed to love and trust in my savior Jesus Christ. I just wanted to share that.
 I don't know what I'm going to do the rest of the night. We didn't go see our baby tonight but heard he's doing good and eating.
 I have another appointment tomorrow. But I'm free most of the afternoon. I need to run to the pharmacy also tommorrow.

So I watched conference this morning and afternoon with mom and Jamie at Jamie's house. It was really good. I think out of all the talks I really enjoyed brother Nelsons because it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately...Men are that they might Have joy. After conference I came home and had a nap Well I tried to have a nap.
 Then we went to St George to see our baby. He's doing good. Trying to learn how to eat.
     I have to go to the bank and to wall art in the morning then to my therapy groups.
   I am trying to be better at finding more wholesome activities to do on the Sabbath.
    Anyways that's been my day. I'll have to re look at my goals now that conference is here. And I'm working on putting the talks in order of the importance that they are in my life. Its a lot to think about. A lot of divine instruction. I don't think one talk is better then another but it's kind of how the spirit hits me in order of preference I give them.
 Good night.

So I went up early with mom to see our miracle baby and he is so cute. We think he's going to be ok. He's doing good.
 Made it home during the first speaker of conference well not home but Jamie's. I don't know the talks were good and I listened intently I've been praying for the speakers, but I had a hard time getting into it. I can't decide what my favourite talk was probably uchtdorf so far cause he talked about having gratitude. It sounds like though we've. got a lot of work to do. Missionary work and repenting fo me. I still also like the conference talks from the women's session. Well see how tomorrow goes. I am looking forward to hearing from our prophet.
 I've been thinking in regards to missionary work a lot of people I'm around these days who are not lds.....I think they think sometimes that there is no one who understands the things they've had to. go through in life..wether it be their childhood or also in there adult life. They don't think anyone cares about it or realizes how hard it is.....not much understanding or compassion.
 I came home and needed sleep from getting up early this morning and visiting the baby. I finally got a few minutes of sleep.
 I had to go to the grocery store and I was in pretty good spirits. Right now I'm a little down but I'm ok. Sometimes people hear things the wrong way or it may be because they are hiding hurt from themselves cause of things they've been through. I can't always believe everything I hear.
 Now I'm posting this blog and getting ready to call it a night. So I can get up tommorrow again for conference.